You’re Losing at Fantasy Football, bro…

Week 3 is wrapping up as I write this and most of you probably suck in your Fantasy Football League

Yes, the Cowboys and Giants are in a battle of relevance. Your Fantasy Football team is too.

Let’s face it, everyone has to suck at something. For you, instead of sucking as a human (thank the good lord) you decided to suck at Fantasy Football. You don’t have to, but you don’t know the difference between Allen Lazard and the Geico Lizard.

I’ve been running this Fantasy game for about 15 years. Some years I’m winning it all, other years I come 2nd or 3rd. I can’t complain, For most of you, the playoffs seem like a stretch.

Is it time to panic, being that it’s only Week 3?

Yeah, probably.

Here’s some questions you need to be asking yourself right now.

1. Is the team I drafted the team I want to play the whole season with?

2. What have the other teams done in the waiver pool?

3. Where am I on the waiver wires?

4. Can I pay more attention to the games and get better read on who’s consistent?

These are all things you need to ask yourself. You also need to ask yourself what kind of league you’re in. Most of you are probably in a PPR, so let’s take the next few minutes to look over how to take advantage of that kind of league.

Oh, and I’m going to do a lot of mansplaining here unintentionally, but this whole article should be you pretending to be a 5th grader.

1) Is the team I drafted the team I want to play the whole season with?

No matter what you’re thinking, this answer should always be no. There is no time, in any historical context, that 100% of your team are the only players you have.

I used to be guilty of this. Draft a good list, guys like Marvin Harrison or Tom Brady. You feel like a god, like a man amongst boys. You walk around too confident and cocky, only to realize you’re actually in a bad spot. Yeah you might have those top guys, but your primary running back is Rod Smart (in modern terms, you’ve got Patrick Mahomes and Stefon Diggs, but your running back is Nyheim Hines,

For the love of all things, use the gosh darn Waiver Wire.

Most leagues are going to be short on RB’s, that’s okay. Find an RB that gets a lot of playing time and is primarily used as a late down or goal line formation. They are usually going to get a lot of TD’s and have the potential to get quite a few passes their direction. This is how you score points.

Let’s look at Week 3 in general. Who was the top scoring RB?

Khalil Herbert.

For the season, he’s ranked 8th overall as a RB. According to ESPN, he’s only rostered in 25.2% of leagues. In comparison, he’s scoring better than Jonathan Taylor (IND) and Christian McCaffrey (CAR). Both those backs are rostered in 99.9% of ESPN leagues.

One spot above Herbet, Jamaal Williams (DET-Rostered in 44.3% of leagues).

Look, here’s my point…no one is perfect. These leagues are incredibly hard to predict. No matter who you draft, there’s no guarantee they’ll be great. Hell, you can work the Waivers and suck just as bad. It’s completely okay. Just find the players that are trending up in the available pool and go for them.

2) What have other teams done in the Waiver Wires?

Just because you suck right now, doesn’t mean other people aren’t sucking just as bad. It’s quite simple, everyone sucks at Fantasy Football. A lot of it is luck. A lot of it is what happens in each game; and, unless you have insider knowledge of the game plan, you are probably just as screwed as anyone.

Some fantasy owners are more prone to make rash moves versus others. This is normal. Need a QB today because Justin Herbert might be out; but, they don’t want to drop anyone on your bench? So they drop Herbert. Moron.

Sure, Week 3 might have been a crap week for Herbert, but they just pulled a bone headed stunt. Now, savvy ole you get’s to take a crack at the Waiver Wires to pick up Herbert.

I’ve seen stunts like this pulled off way too often.

3)Where am I on the Waiver Wire?

This isn’t as important as it sounds, but it’s something you need to pay attention to. Are you 1st, last, or somewhere in-between? Knowing where you are can help you set up your moves. If you’re 1st on the Waiver Wire and someone drops Dak due to injury, but you’re riding with Matt Ryan, here’s a chance for you to place a claim as soon as he’s returned from injury.

You can repeat this with any player. Not satisfied with your RB, pick up Khalil Herbert and let him have a chance on your team. Dude, Chicago doesn’t pass the ball, you’ll be thankful to have him. If he’s not available, go after the next best thing. You run the waiver wires dog, get whoever you need right now.

That being said, if you’re last, plan to go after your second option if you’re making a move. Take a flyer to get the player you want, but have the insurance policy of knowing you might not get the first pick. It’s completely okay, take what the other owners give you.

4) Can you pay more attention to the games?

This might be the hardest thing to do, but it’s the most crucial. You need to understand matchups, players, game plans, and overall team chemistry if you want the best Fantasy Football team in all the land.

Does your Kicker play for a team that scores little to no points? Probably not a good pick, there’s 32 teams, find a new kicker.

What about your QB? If you’ve got Justin Fields, dog, I feel sorry. They’ve barely thrown the ball. You’re better off with literally anyone, please consider this in your next move or game.

But here’s the biggest thing you need to pay attention to. Who the players you have are playing. This actually screwed me this week. While I still won, I should have had more points. David Njoku was scheduled to start; but, at the last second, I had this theory that the Steelers defense would be a tougher matchup than Hunter Henry had against Baltimore. I started Henry, Njoku put up 23.9 points. Henry, just a measly 1.8.

In hindsight, I should have realized that the Steelers pass rush is non-existent without TJ Watt. Stupid, they’ve got a great set of players, but the facts are the facts. They just can’t do crap without Watt on the field. It also should have been obvious that the Browns were going to give a lot of players to both Chubb and Hunt in order to set up the pass. Did Jacoby Brissett have a career day? Not really, but he played great. The running game worked well, so all they had to do was keep running to open up the passes. Boy did they ever. Brissett outscored Mahomes, Rodgers, Brady, Murray, Tagovailoa, Mayfield, Stafford and Herbert.

Duded balled out.

My point here is, you need to know what is happening with the teams your players are on. Look, the Browns are the perfect example. This is my second year drafting Nick Chubb. Last year, he’d have a 30 point game one week and a 5 point game the next. Why? Because the Browns couldn’t decide if they wanted to use him, Hunt, or throw the ball. They had no “this is our plan, watch what we do”. This year, the Browns seem more of a run first, pass second team. Will that change once Deshaun Watson returns? Probably. Am I going to enjoy the ride in the early season? You bet your ass I am.

Watching every game is hard. No one has the time to, nor does anyone actually want to. If you do, bravo. If you don’t, you’re normal. Just pay attention to what teams are better at what. Since most these leagues are offensive players, look at your key matchups. Do you have Aaron Rodgers going up against the best Pass Defense in the NFL? Probably want to use a different QB this week. Is your RB playing against the worst Pass Defense? Probably need a different RB.

It’s just matchups, a lot of luck, and a lot of “well shit, I should have started x over y”. It is Fantasy Football. You are going to suck sometimes. It’s okay. Just do whatever you can to have fun, understand how these things work, and study the game. You will do better. It only takes one good week to start turning things around.